How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
