I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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