k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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