the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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