boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
