Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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