hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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