so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
