Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
