How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize