You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
