It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
