you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
