god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
time to smoke my breakfast
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
