I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
