i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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