i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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