There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
