just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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