I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
