We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
