I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
