I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
