There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
