Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
