Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize