Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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