I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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