when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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