My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
