I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
