This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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