Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
