Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
