the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
