How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize