Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
