I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
