How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
