im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
