I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
