I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
