lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
