I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
