she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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