My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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