Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
