guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
