I want to have your abortion
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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