I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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