yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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