so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Enjoy the penises
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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