you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
