dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
