So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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