So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
