Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
