I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
